解読不能。

あれから寝れなくてさ、結構な量の睡眠薬と安定剤を飲んだら寝れたんだけど、寝る前に相当ラリっちゃってね、んでなぜか英語で何かを書こうとか思いついてさ、すげーボーッっとしながら色々と書いてたわけ。で、それを今朝っつーかまぁ今日ね、読み返してみたら相当狂ってるのよ。なにやってたんだ？俺？っていうような感じでさ、ちょっとでも面白いんでウォール伝にアップしようかなとか思ったんでアップするね。もちろん凄まじい数のグラマーエラーがあると思うけど、別にちゃんしたやつじゃないんで気にしないで。意味も分からないところが本当に多い。

I conclude that love is absolute internal subjective consciousness by which I love myself. Love doesn't exist in a state of objective components, therefore, love exist only in a state of subjective components as human consciousness which deals with internal conflict or struggle between the difference of　subjective　consciousness and the will which strongly towards to make definition that perfect form of love. Love as existence of universal thought has realized by progress of imperfect considerable manifestation of this being. It was no longer envisaged as vulgar phallic objective of notion. In the first place we certainly have to reject the extrinsic intoxicative cognitive process which subjective notion towards to fatal vulnerable territory. We can consider it as self-centered　distractive suicide, therefore only the way of get rid of this kind of vulgar notion can emancipate by which untouchable universal structural components as nothingness which has the possibility of grasp it by rigorous patient. The conclusion is that the fantastic notion of love shouldn’t accept as part of inconsistent nominal realities. The passionate misrepresentation and valorization of multi generated schizophrenic ideas and dialogical construction of female subject as nihilistic object which could be interpreted by distractive notion of love. Systematic existence as invasion of subversive depthlessness of passion is infinite bewilderment of panoptic subject-position which always created by human mind. Our establishment of analogous problem is when we couldn’t reduce the phenomenological consequence of abstraction with all its determinations. Again the relationship between distorted notion and desperation is a synthesis of the result of analytical introspection which primary deals with our arbitral perception of conversely expectation to the future. When our notions make some moments of judgment, it can be done by spatial-temporal things. Because the specific ideal notion of man with the world is non-being conditions which every kind of limitation by repetition of nothingness. The permanent consciousness of being itself determines questionable affirmation of transcendent pursuit the existence of truth. Therefore, love itself is substantial antagonistic equivalent of triple non-being conditions which have enormous differences between the principles of cognitive process and alienated absolute negation which comes from unbreakable reality. Consequently, it reveals the surface of egoistic alters. Thus at the moment of feeling love as affirmative negative reply, my perspective of psychic positivity refers to the conceptual unity of paradoxical negative judgment which also could say that positive judgment. All determination is passing beyond the world toward itself by condition of selfness.

Now, I can say that this passing beyond the world could be replaced by myself as transcended multiple attitudes. Also pre-ontological human reality which imply as suspended possibility, some existential omnipotent thing will be emerged in order to mediate on partly within the universe of inserted various kind of phases and each attribute is surpassing that the depth of phrased expressions. Somehow, if I emerge in this ontological perspective, the notion of love doesn’t exist and it really necessary to surpass the operational degree of all prior determination as rational constructive commitment which I no longer couldn’t apply as human being. The possibility of nihilistic being as the imagined object as me, it would be extremely useless isolated separation of schizoid matter at which it aims. However, on the contrary, if I determine love as circumstances of empty an intention of some absolute existence such as god, my consciousness of freedom immediately disappear and experience of moment of love or being love with somebody is threatening my extremely weak mental conditions. So, let us understand that the beginning of love can some that is, I can fill with full of negative power and my systematically characterized principle of structural state. A living consequence of depression itself is towards to universal essence of statement. That’s why I can define that Liah2000 is one of the most anguished evil things who have a description of exceptional rationalities. Additionally, needless to say her temptation is extremely subjective commitment and it curses our private property in the sense of instrumentalities and pureness. It is conceived as the birth of eremitical implications such as multitude of our realizations and hence, essence never disappears and it assures by all significations of transcendent my essential possibilities. Now, I claim that love is the opportunity of　discovering permanent temptation which committed by some vulgar American women and itself never be the same by which I try to antagonism which toward to all others. In conclusion, only the way of attempting to apprehend myself is extension of my particular type of consciousness from without conflict and transcended dimension of subjective being itself only can defeat insane amount of ridiculous meaningless things which is definitely including “LOVE”.

とりあえず今日はそんな感じで。たぶんちょっと休まないとダメだな。完全に頭がおかしくなってる。

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